3 more letters NHL teams should write to fans

On Thursday, the New York Rangers took the unusual step of sending an open letter to their fans - from president Glen Sather and general manager Jeff Gorton - to inform them that “we consider you a part of the New York Rangers family,” and also that the team will be selling off anyone and everyone it can in the next two weeks leading up to the trade deadline.

Will other teams follow suit? There certainly are a few who could.

Let’s see what’s in those drafts folders.

__________

As a supporter of the bleu, blanc, et rouge, we know that you don’t understand why blue is the first color listed when we’re described that way, given that we’ve worn red jerseys for more than a century. We’ve just always been called that, and if there’s one thing we know about here, it’s clinging desperately to the past.

Well, that, and the whole needing to speak French thing. It’s why I have this job, and why anytime we want to make a coaching change, we only have like three viable candidates, but I digress.

As you know, we last won the Stanley Cup in 1993, our 24th time claiming hockey’s greatest prize. While we are extremely proud of that, we also recognize that almost a quarter century is a long time, and maybe we should stop living in the past. Haha, just kidding, we’ll never do that, but we do need to think about the future, and in the next couple of weeks, we will focus on ways to make our team a contender for that 25th Stanley Cup in the years to come.

Unfortunately, due to the actions of a front-office employee whose identity doesn't particularly matter, we have $18.3 million in cap space devoted to two guys in their 30s, on contracts that run through 2026. They’re not going anywhere, and while there are other moves we wouldn't mind making, it’s really hard to envision exactly who else we could trade that would both help us build a better team, and not result in a five-day shutdown of the entire metropolitan area for a public airing of grievances. Our promise to you is that we will listen to talk radio, see who you are trying to run out of town, and accommodate your wishes. Because, frankly, we're kind of terrified of you.

There are no fans like Canadiens fans. You call 911 for things that happen on the ice in hockey games, endangering the safety of your fellow citizens by hindering emergency services. You haven’t done that in a while, because we haven’t given you quite so much reason to care, but that’s really amazing. We appreciate that you've always been this, uh, spirited, going back to when our best player knocked a linesman unconscious, and you responded to his suspension by rioting in the streets.

We will say very little as we continue to try to figure out how to shape a contending team around the aging players whose decline phases for whom we've paid a dear price. Thank you for the blind support you show the Montreal Canadiens, and please remember that we've won 24 Stanley Cups. That’s the most of anyone!

Geoff Molson
Owner

Marc Bergevin
General Manager

___________

As a member of Blackhawk Nation ... oh, wow, that sounds extremely wrong. Seeing it written out like that, jeez, okay, yeah, we’re going to have to do something about that. Okay, anyway, that’s not what this letter is about.

As much as we tried over the summer to change things after our playoff exit, in which we scored three goals in four games and took it as a sign of organizational failure rather than an ill-timed slump for a 109-point team, we find ourselves in a position where it's time to face the fact that this season isn't working out for us.

We recognize that, for many of you, this three-year Stanley Cup drought is the longest you've experienced, although a good segment of that group has shifted allegiances to the Cubs. You know, for a city with a reputation for extreme devotion to its sports teams through thick and thin, many of you sure do seem to be bandwagon jumpers.

That’s okay, though, because it's our goal to improve as soon as possible. We may not win the Cup again for a while, because, well, have you seen the no-move clauses on the extremely long-term deals we’ve given out, before even considering our circumvention of the salary cap that’s so blatant, they’re going to have to rewrite the rules?

But we'll do the next best thing, which is to consistently appear in outdoor games because the NHL knows they can put us anywhere in the Midwest, and you guys will show up. To do that, we have to add some good, young talent, which we plan to acquire after we win the draft lottery this spring.

It’s hard to say goodbye to familiar faces, and thanks to those no-move clauses, there’s absolutely no chance we will. Instead, we'll spend the next two weeks, and really the rest of the season, evaluating various other methods that will allow us to assemble the next great Chicago team with nearly three consecutive decades of playoff appearances, maybe with a championship thrown in this time.

Thank you for your support, and for all the things you do to forget exactly how problematic our best player is, through all the inexplicable endorsement deals and placements as one of the faces of the sport. We don’t get it either. See you outside next year!

Rocky Wirtz
Owner

Stan Bowman
General Manager

__________

As part of the Golden Phalanx, we know you've come to expect excellence from our organization, and we always want to be sure that every message associated with the Vegas Golden Knights, no matter how short, reflects our commitment to be the class of the National Hockey League. Today, we want to express ourselves at some length to tell you exactly what our plans are moving forward.

As you know, we were the beneficiaries of the most friendly expansion draft rules in National Hockey League history, and cajoled a few teams into making side deals that ... well, you can ask those teams about how those things went, but we won’t name names ... let’s just say "Plorida Fanthers."

So, we fleeced some suckers, but even then, our expansion draft probably could've been better, and there was the whole Vadim Shipachyov thing, too. That was not our finest hour, and we feel we should be honest about that. Even so, it's hard to imagine improving upon beginning our existence with 27 wins in 38 games.

Since then, however, we've won only half our games. We know that's not the standard you've come to associate with Vegas Golden Knights hockey, and we want to offer our most sincere apologies to you, the greatest and most dedicated fans in the NHL.

Over the next two weeks, we'll be evaluating all our options to bring Las Vegas - sorry, Vegas - the Stanley Cup for which you've waited so long. Would it be possible for us to once again take one player from every other team, in exchange for nothing? We don’t know, but we intend to find out.

We recognize we may have to part with some longtime fan favorites, players who have been Golden Knights since before we even played a game as a National Hockey League franchise, four long months ago. But, let’s be honest, since every week these days feels like three years, that would be like trading players who have been with us for more than a decade.

Our goal, as it's been from the beginning, is to lull everyone into a false sense of security, let them think they’re just out here having a good time, then take them for all they’re worth. That’s the Vegas way, always has been, always will be. We intend to honor that, and to continue making a mockery of everything the rest of this silly league has held dear for 100 years. It’s why we gave ourselves a ridiculous team name that doesn’t even have our whole city name in it, and it’s why we hope to win the Stanley Cup in our very first year of existence.

Thank you for your continued support.

Bill Foley
Owner

George McPhee
General Manager