The worst equipment choices in NHL history

If you grew up playing hockey, chances are you've been less than satisfied with moulding, out-of-date gear. But minor hockey players have an excuse for their wooden sticks, birdcages, and hand-me-down Tacks; there's only so much a weekly allowance can buy. What about the NHL players that disregard the undeniable aesthetics attached to the game of hockey. What's their excuse? 

Here are the worst equipment choices in NHL history: 

Tim Thomas, Dallas Stars

Let's begin with the list's genesis. Anything but vain, the Dallas Stars replacement starter -- who looks exactly that -- hasn't quite assimilated to the typical look of an NHL goaltender during his journeyman career. That said, Thomas has made a few faux pas since his trade from the Florida Panthers (although he cleaned up his act Thursday night.) With his pads and helmet colored red with blue trim, the Stars' victory green home jerseys provide a blinding contrast to the Floridian garb of past crease. When scored on in Big D, Thomas looks more like an unwrapped Christmas gift than a respectable NHL goaltender.

Sergei Fedorov, Detroit Red Wings

In the 90's, Federov represented the paragon of Russian flash. He reached the 30-goal plateau on 10 occasions, terrorizing back-peddlers with his blazing speed for more than two decades of professional hockey, and winning three Stanley Cups. But, when Nike paid him to wear their new Nike Air Accel skates, he looked more like a California Golden Seal. And there's a reason why the Seals became extinct after nine seasons by the bay.

Alex Ovechkin, Washington Capitals

Sticking  with Russia, Washington's captain is known for three things: His wicked shot, struggles when donning the country's crest, and bright yellow laces. While Ovechkin is undoubtedly a far greater player than we give him credit for, we just can't get behind those canary laces - much like we couldn't back his bulletproof visor, or red chassis (Oh, Alex).

Kevin Lowe, Edmonton Oilers

Rounding out the baffling blades is former Edmonton Oilers defenseman Kevin Lowe, who set the groundwork for blue-liners who long to protect their feet. Back in the Oilers' dynasty days, and in the absence of today's detachable shot blockers, Lowe wore Microns - skates that resembled ski boots. Amazingly, Lowe wasn't hampered by these monstrosities, rather, he helped deploy the Oilers' run-and-gun style that dominated in the late '80s and early '90s.  

Craig Ludwig, Dallas Stars

Craig Ludwig's 17 seasons as one of the NHL's premier shot-blockers wasn't a coincidence. Heck, he wore phonebooks under his socks. Shins wider than thighs is never a good look, but there's no doubting its effectiveness.

1982-83 Hartford Whalers and Philadelphia Flyers

In the early 1980s, CCM developed the single-greatest fashion mistake in hockey history: The Cooperalls. Unforgivably adopted by the Hartford Whalers and Philadelphia Flyers, Cooperalls were long pants worn over a protective girdle that disregarded the use of normal pants and socks. Aside from looking utterly ridiculous, the pants were also a hazard. The NHL banned its usage after deeming that the slickness was too dangerous for fallen players. Yeah, that was it. 

Ryan Smyth, Edmonton Oilers

Spun out of the NHL time machine, Edmonton Oilers forward Ryan Smyth looks more and more like beer leaguer who stumbled onto the wrong pad of ice in this, his 18th season. From head to toe, his gear is a throwback to better days, but his stick offers the greatest point of nostalgia. With a metal shaft attached to a wooden blade, Smyth still appears to be using the aluminum Easton that Wayne Gretzky left in an arena garbage bin before bolting to Hollywood.

Ulf Samuelsson, New York Rangers

In 16 seasons, Ulf Samuelsson developed a reputation as one of the dirtiest and most unapologetic blue-liners in the NHL. While not the tallest, strongest or thickest, the Swede compensated by armouring himself in oversized equipment, including his gargantuan shoulder pads. Whereas most players (like Brendan Shanahan who wore the same mangled shoulders for nearly three decades of competitive hockey) preferred minimal protection, Samuelsson used his as just another weapon in his disregarding arsenal. He looked ridiculous, but the purpose, well, it was served. 

Tomas Plekanec, Montreal Canadiens

Turtleneck, The: A unisex fashion trend introduced to North Americans in the 1920s, since rebuffed by everyone except a certain Canadiens forward. 

Al Arbour, St. Louis Blues

Nicknamed "Radar", Al Arbour was the last player to wear glasses in an NHL game. Despite age taking more than just his vision, Arbour captained the expansion St. Louis Blues to three consecutive Stanley Cup Finals appearances beginning in 1968, while balancing the team's budget on the side. (Not really. Well, maybe.)

Kyle McLaren, San Jose Sharks

Opting for a little added protection after taking a Sami Salo clapper to the face, McLaren attached a visor to his helmet when he returned from a six-game absence in 2005. But after being bothered by the clear visor's glare, McLaren would return again, this time with the ever-popular yellow option. Alas, after two failed playoff runs, the Sharks defenseman ditched the visor because it failed to bring the team luck. But it wasn't all bad - the multi-purpose eyewear now allows the retired blue liner to utilize the 3D option on his home theatre.

Kelly Hrudey, New York Islanders

Typically identified as an LA King, Hrudey first introduced his patented bandana to NHL circles with the Islanders. After failed trials in keeping sweat and his flowing locks from disrupting his contact lenses, Hrudey gave birth to his trademark when he ripped up an old t-shirt and tied it around his head. Unfortunately, nothing good comes from ripping up an old t-shirt and tying it around your head. 

Butch Goring, New York Islanders

From Gretzky to Selanne, Fox to Foligno, many NHL players have sported a wide array of regrettable helmet choices. But, in our eyes, nothing tops Goring. Whether it was covered in felt or stolen from a BMX rider, Goring's headwear looked more like a papier-mâché art project with an Islanders sticker planted on the temple. 

Honorable mention: An anecdote from Glenn Healy

After the Islanders' training staff left his helmet on Long Island, the Boston Bruins generously lent Healy a mask back in 1994. As legend would have it, the helmet was covered in blue hockey tape to match team colors. Of course, Healy posted a shutout behind what had to have been the worst mask in league history, proving that you don't have to look good to play good.