Hockey's best enforcement agents
Over the years, the ice has become a breeding ground for hockey's version of justice keepers - players ready and willing to take the law into their own hands and keep evil at bay.
In their own unique ways, here are four of hockey's best policemen:
David Clarkson
David Clarkson is a policeman in the true hockey sense of the word, amassing no fewer than 103 fights at the NHL level (including preseason play).
He added a specialty to his crime-fighting skills as a member of the Toronto Maple Leafs back in 2013, making an example out of Detroit's Todd Bertuzzi and sending a clear message league-wide: don't mess with his team's water bottles.
As it happened, Bertuzzi fired the puck at goaltender Jonathan Bernier's bottle, which had toppled to the ice. The following exchange ensued:
Clarkson: (Expletive) off. Don't hit his bottle.
Bertuzzi: His water bottle was on the (expletive) ground.
Clarkson: I don't give a (expletive).
Bertuzzi: Don't worry about a (expletive) water bottle.
Clarkson: I am worried about a (expletive) water bottle. It's our (expletive) water bottle. Don't (expletive) touch it.
Bertuzzi: I'll buy you one.
Clarkson: OK, perfect, you buy me one.
Clarkson has since moved on to Columbus, but don't think for a second it's ever open season on water bottles whenever he steps on the ice.
Sergei Bobrovsky
Sergei Bobrovsky's rise to top cop status came courtesy of Canadian broadcaster Jay Onrait, who famously shouted the goaltender's name during highlight clips as though he were a staff sergeant addressing his underling.
Onrait later explained the simple origins behind one of hockey's greatest jokes, admitting that when Bobrovsky first entered the league as a member of the Philadelphia Flyers, the Russian's name sounded like a cop's name from a 1970s movie.
Now with the Blue Jackets, Bobrovsky remains on the case and continues to bring shooters around the league to their knees.
Brendan Shanahan
Over the course of his many years in the game, Shanahan has held down a number of roles that set him apart as one of hockey's top patrolman.
To wit, in 1524 career games, Shanahan complimented his scoring prowess with a physical side that saw him record 1354 penalty minutes - a total boosted by a fair share of glove-dropping and face-punching.
A couple years after retirement, Shanahan signed up to be the NHL's chief disciplinarian, at which point he immediately began to crack down on illegal hits by doling out a series of suspensions intended to deter on-ice malfeasance.
Tales of his brand of justice, highlighted by a series of explanatory videos, were whispered throughout the hockey world and the term "Shanaban" was coined as a result of his propensity to throw the book at offenders.
Nowadays, Shanahan continues to sit in a position of authority, directing traffic in Toronto amid the chaos and confusion that is the Maple Leafs.
Pat Burns
No discussion of hockey's best policemen would be complete without mentioning the late, great Pat Burns.
The legendary head coach served as a police officer in Gatineau, Quebec for many years prior to jumping into the coaching ranks with the local QMJHL squad at the behest of team owner Wayne Gretzky.
Over 14 seasons between 1988 and 2004, Burns coached in 1,019 games with the Montreal Canadiens, Toronto Maple Leafs, Boston Bruins and New Jersey Devils. He retired in 2005 after being diagnosed with cancer, which took his life in 2010.
Burns won three Jack Adams awards and one Stanley Cup, and was posthumously inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame in 2014.
His old job defined his personality and coaching style upon jumping behind the Montreal Canadiens' bench, and he identified himself as a policeman long after trading one daily grind for another.
"Many times he said, 'I'm a cop and a coach and that's it,'" said his cousin and agent Robin Burns. "What most people admired most about Pat was that he was part of the blue-collar people. He was very down to earth."