Retired NHL power forward Mike Knuble doesn't use Twitter often, but when he does, he's the most interesting hockey player on the fledgling social media site.
Before Wednesday night, Knuble hadn't tweeted since June of 2012. But on Wednesday Knuble apparently attended an American Hockey League game between the Lake Erie Monsters and the Grand Rapids Griffins. Perhaps because it was "social media night" at the arena, Knuble decided to live tweet his in-arena experience. The results were hilarious.
Here are some highlights:
Knuble settles in for social media night at the Van Andel Arena in Grand Rapids and declares his triumphant return to Twitter:
Sometime in the second period, Knuble expressed his hope that Griffins right wing Mitch Callahan would score a goal. Apparently Knuble loves his west coast hip-hop:
If Knuble is implying that every Grand Rapids skater has a distinct goal song, and that's certainly what it seems like he's doing, then that is all kinds of awesome. NHL teams should adopt that post haste...
The game was getting out of hand, and so Knuble's attention wandered. He began to get hyped up about the "hot dog machine gun" at intermission:
Before you go off thinking that "hot dog machine gun" must be a local Grand Rapids ska band, or something, it's clear from Knuble's subsequent tweets that he was legitimately talking about some sort of wiener cannon. Yes, according to MLive, hot dogs are regularly fired out of an Air Cannon at Griffins home games.
Anyway, the "hot dog machine gun's" time to shine had arrived and Knuble was excited:
Unfortunately things didn't go according to plan:
Once again we turn to our friends at MLive who confirm that this is a semi-regular occurrence. "When hot dogs are launched" Peter J. Walner writes, occassionally "they burst in the air. Foul, yes, but funny."
Hot dog machine gun!
Following the sausage fiasco, Knuble decided to "bum" some air-spun sugar off of a nearby spectator. He ultimately regretted the decision and provided his followers with some useful tips:
Once the game was over, our hero logged off and left "social media night" resolved to tweet somewhat more often. We can only pray that he makes good on that promise: