Week 8 Report Card: Auburn runs wild to the top of the class

Week 8 on the college football slate served as a reminder of sorts for all those following the crazy sport.

Alabama is still the undisputed No. 1 team in the country, the Big 12 doesn't play any defense, Leonard Fournette is still not a normal human being, and Kirk Ferentz will play conservative football until the end of time.

Here's the report card for week 8 of the college football calendar.

A

Auburn's rushing game

Apparently going against each other in practice everyday is working wonders for No. 21 Auburn's rushing offense and defense. The Tigers absolutely destroyed No. 17 Arkansas on the ground, gashing the Razorbacks' defense for an astonishing 543 yards rushing. That number would be 518 yards more than Arkansas' gain on the ground, because the Tigers' defense stuffed their opponent for just 25 yards rushing. Auburn topped the 400-yard rushing mark for the third time this season, most in the FBS. Gus Malzahn's seat is the coolest it's been in a very long time.

Leonard Freakin' Fournette

LSU once had a running back who dominated college football and made people go bananas every single time he touched the ball. His name was Leonard Fournette, but we hadn't witnessed the King of Bayou at his full power since last season. That changed on Saturday versus Ole Miss, as the junior standout made his return from injury and blew the damn doors off Tiger Stadium. His night featured touchdown runs of 78, 76, and 59 yards, a stiff-arm for the ages, and a career-high 284 yards on the ground.

Patrick Mahomes/Baker Mayfield

Apparently Air Traffic Control took the night off in Lubbock, Texas on Saturday, because there were no restrictions on the quarterbacks in the Oklahoma-Texas Tech game. Red Raiders quarterback Patrick Mahomes broke the FBS record for most yards of offense by a single player with 819. Sooners pivot Baker Mayfield broke the school record with seven touchdown passes in a single game, and the two combined for the most total yards of offense by two players in FBS history. The two schools combined for 1,708 yards of total offense, 854 each, breaking the FBS record for most ever in a game.

B

Michigan's Defense

It must have been a proud moment for former NFL quarterback Jeff George on Saturday as his son Jeff Jr. made his first collegiate start against Michigan. If you are waiting for me to tell you that he led 39-point underdog Illinois over the third-ranked in a storybook ending, well Jim Harbaugh doesn't play that game, so move along. Not only did Michigan's highly touted defense give George fits, they didn't allow him to complete a pass in the entire first half.

The Wolverines finally relented, and 36 minutes into the game, Illinois finally completed a pass. They also would eventually score a touchdown, finishing with a total of 8 points. Since the game didn't end in a shutout, Michigan is dropped from an A-grade to a "B," but it's still a remarkable performance for the Wolverines.

C

Ohio State

Ohio State lost to Penn State as a 20-point favorite at Beaver Stadium on Saturday, and while that result is certainly "not great," it likely won't hurt the Buckeyes in the long run. Urban Meyer's outfit dominated the game for three quarters, but a blocked punt and blocked field goal for a touchdown turned out to be their undoing in the upset loss. Coming in to the game, Ohio State knew it had to beat Michigan in their matchup at the end of November to make the college football playoff, and they leave Happy Valley with the same scenario. Providing the Buckeyes win out and beat their rival in Columbus, they will be in the Big Ten Championship game, with a berth in the final four at stake.

D

Stanford's offense

Stanford has scored two offensive touchdowns in the last 240 minutes of football. We could bore you with stats and comparisons, but it's pretty obvious that number is absolutely awful. The college football world weeps for Christian McCaffrey.

Missouri's Journalism Program

Missouri has one of the most renowned journalism programs in the country, but that didn't save them from an embarrassing moment Saturday. Prior to the Tigers' home game against Middle Tennessee, the journalism school's Twitter account sent out a message reminding their students to remain objective when "Missouri stomps all over Middle Tennessee." The only problem? Middle Tennessee took down the Tigers 51-45, leading to a deletion of the Tweet by the journalism school. Thankfully the internet, and the hilarious @OldTakesExposed Twitter feed, doesn't miss anything these days.

F

Oklahoma/Texas Tech defense

See Baker Mayfield/Patrick Mahomes in the "A" section for the reasons why Oklahoma's and Texas Tech's defensive units are getting an "F."

Kirk Ferentz

Iowa struggled to move the ball throughout the entirety of Saturday's game against Wisconsin, but somehow found themselves trailing by only eight points with 5:25 remaining. Facing fourth-and-5 on the Badgers 20, Kirk Ferentz opted to kick the field goal instead of trying for the first down. Even with the three points, that would still see the Hawkeyes trail by 5 points, needing a touchdown to win. Iowa would miss the kick, and eventually lose the game by eight points, prompting an absolutely insane line of reasoning by Ferentz after the game.

Fun Fact: Ferentz signed a contract extension in September that will pay him $4.5 million annually through 2025. He will be 70 years old when the contract finishes, and almost undoubtedly still kicking field goals when trailing by eight.